Press 1 if the Dean is an asshole liar and/or bully.
Press 2 if, no matter how well you prepare them, students still copy whole paragraphs from
Wikipedia.
Press 3 if the vice-president is an idiot and the President runs the school like a business.
Press 4 if your student athletes actually think they’ll play professionally.
Press 5 if a young man in your class may or may not have assaulted a young women in your
class and theyre both expected to keep attending.
Press 6 if you suspect your colleagues might not be very good teachers, giving the same
lectures and multiple-guess quizzes every semester.
Press 7 if a crazy guy is suing you and your school for a million dollars because you banned
him from coming to your school-related open mic night because he was threatening you and others and you don’t know if the school will throw you under the bus and they’ll probably settle for $13,000
Press 8 if the only employees praised at the end-of-year luncheon are the ones who work
extra hours for no extra pay.
Press 9 if you feel grief at the end of the semester knowing you’ll never see these young
people again after laughing with them and seeing them grow and think and they’ll forget you in a year as you’ll forget them and you can’t repeat these options or even hold for an operator.
_________
Born in Puerto Rico, John Yohe has worked as a wildland firefighter, wilderness ranger and fire lookout. Best of the Net nominee x2. Notable Essay List for Best American Essays 2021, 2022 and 2023. Â @thejohnyohe www.johnyohe.weebly.com